i am larger, better than i thought. i did not know i held so much goodness.
thesoftestrevolution

i’m on year 5 of my healing journey and what i can tell you is that it is mostly a process of noticing and including yourself. when you see yourself being reactionary and projecting on someone else you say, “whatever this behavior is trying to protect me from, i want to feel it.” and then you notice the humiliation and the rejection and the terror and the shame. you see it all, and though it is messy and horrible, you include it all. and the next time you get a wave of it, you notice that too, and the next time, and the next time, you keep including it. and when you get frustrated and tired and annoyed you see your impatience and your petulance and include that too. and when you look at the shitty fucking mess that you are and you feel like nothing will ever be better or ever be fixed, you greet your pessimism and cynicism like old lovers, you bring them in too.

healing has been, more than anything, a process of deep inclusion, deep integration. it has been an intimate accounting of myself. it has been allowing my shadow to exist alongside my light. so that there is no part of me that i am resistant of, or judgmental of, or angry at, or neglectful of. so that every inch of me is held with tenderness and allowance and love.

i am not perfect, but i am all here.

posted Tuesday, June 23rd with 290 notes
via: blooooom
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