i am larger, better than i thought. i did not know i held so much goodness.
talktonytome

Can I be him

The day Captain America was found, Rhodey knew he was screwed. He’d spent the better part of 30 years pining for his best friend, Tony freakin Stark. Yes, it was a helluva long time to pine, but after Tony’s parents died, after the years of watching the genius self destruct, after Afganistan, after almost losing him to palladium poisoning, he’d thought that finally, finally they’d have their chance.

And then Captain America came back. Rhodey knew Tony had practically been in love with the guy since he was 5 years old. He had vintage posters hung up on his dorm wall and he owned Captain America boxers , for fuck’s sake. So yeah. Rhodey knew he’d lost his chance, if he ever had one. But damn it, he’d be happy for Tony. He would. He deserved every bit of happiness.

That’s how he found himself having lunch with Tony, smiling through clenched teeth, after New York, after almost losing him. Again. That self-sacrificing idiot. He smiled, though, because said idiot was alive. So what if hearing him gush about Rogers was tearing him inside? “Oh honey bear, turns out he’s not such a star-spangled prick! He likes art, so I offered to take him to the MOMA this Friday. I’m going to be his official future adjustment guide.”

“Uh that’s great, Tones,” he choked out. “Glad you’re helping him adjust. I’m sure it’s not easy on him.” There, that wasn’t so bad, right? “Yeah, poor guy,” Tony nodded. “I kinda feel bad about calling him Capsicle, but now it can be an inside joke! I’d like to think there’s a nice friendship forming here. Oh if Howard could see!” Rhodey could do nothing but force a small chuckle and nod, munching on a french fry to give himself something to do, hoping Tony wouldn’t notice something was off. “Anyway,” he continued, “I can’t believe you two still haven’t met! You’ll like him, platypus, fellow military man and all. How’s about you come to the museum with us, huh?” Oh so it could, indeed, get worse. What had he done to deserve this special brand of hell? “Oh um I can’t this week. I have… plans.” God, could he sound less convincing?

“Plans?” Tony asked skeptically, stealing some fries from his plate. “I thought I had you for the whole week. I’m your plans, silly.” The genius got him there. Rhodey had planned to spend the whole week with him. But he didn’t think he could keep it together if he had to see Tony with Rogers. “I promised momma I’d go see her,” he lied. “You know how she is. I like my limbs attached, thank you very much.” He prayed to every god that would make Tony drop it. Then again, when did he ever get what he wanted. “Momma Rhodes? Man, I haven’t visited her in ages. She hates me, doesn’t she? I’m a terrible adoptive son. What if I go with you?!”

“Of course, she doesn’t hate you, dummy. That woman loves you,” he assured. His mom knew perfectly well how in love he was with Tony and constantly griped at him about making a move. “But maybe you can come next time? I’m not staying for long. I have to prep for a mission.” Damn it. He was lying to Tony again and it felt all kinds of wrong. And judging by the hurt on his best friend’s face, Tony knew he lied. “Just tell me you don’t want me to go. I’m a big boy,” he said quietly.

“God. Tony, that’s not- that’s not it.”

“Then tell me what it is! You’ve been on edge this whole time. What did I do? I know, I know I should have called right after the wormhole, but I-

“Tony, stop. You haven’t done anything. It’s not you.”

“Yeah, that’s believable,” he snorted. And then softly. “I almost died, Rhodey. I- almost lost everything. I don’t want to lose you.”

Rhodey sighed, he couldn’t bear to see the anguish in those beautiful, oh so expressive eyes. “Oh, Tones. You’ll never lose me. Never.”

“Then tell me why you lied. What’s wrong? I can fix it,” he promised, tugging on the sleeve of Rhodey’s shirt.

Let it never be said James Rupert Rhodes was a coward. “I can’t- I couldn’t stand to be there, with you and Captain America,” he finally admitted, not daring to look into Tony’s eyes.

“What? Do you not like him? But you haven’t even met him! Is it because I was obsessed with him? I’m not 15 anymore! Oh god, I’ve been a crap friend, haven’t I? Rhodey, you’re my best friend. I’m only trying to help-

“I’m in love with you!” There. It was out, now. Aaand he just screwed up the best thing in his life.

“You- what?”

He resigned himself to his fate. “I’m in love with you, Tony. I’ve been in love with you since MIT. And it absolutely wrecks me to think about you being with someone else. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could finally tell you how I feel. After everything we’ve been through, but then Captain-freaking-America shows up. How could I ever compete with that?”

“There’s no competition.” Ouch. So much for being let down gently.

“I know. And I won’t come between that. I’ll get over it, I promise. I won’t make it awkward.”

Tony reached across the table and grabbed his hand. Great. Pity.

“You’re not listening, there’s no competition- hey look at me.”

He took a deep breath and looked up to meet Tony’s eyes. “I get it! I’ll- I’ll get out of your life for a while if you need me to.”

“And you call me the dummy. There’s no competition because a) sure, he’s attractive but he stopped being my wet dream a long time ago and b) I’m 100%, head over damn heels in love with you. Dummy.”

“You- you love me?” His heart was threatening to burst from his chest.

“Ah, caught up haven’t we? Of course I love you. It’s you. It’s always been you.” Tony murmured, reaching up to gently brush his thumb over the side of his jaw.

“We’re a pair of idiots,” Rhodey mused through a watery chuckle. We wasted so much time.”

“Mhm, 30 years, but who’s counting?” Let’s not waste any more,” Tony declared, closing the distance between them.

The kiss was everything- strong and gentle and fierce. Bright and cosmic and all consuming. The promise of more to come. It was home.

posted Sunday, June 21st with 33 notes
via: talktonytome
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    Wow I love this so much!!!