i am larger, better than i thought. i did not know i held so much goodness.

gay panic

imposter-human

Was seventeen too late for a gay panic? Tony was pretty sure it was, but in his defense, he’d spent high school too busy studying to think about who he wanted to kiss. But now, he was starting to have altogether confusing thoughts about his fellow students, and he had literally no idea how to deal with it.

As with all things he didn’t understand, he went to Rhodey. Rhodey would know what to do. 

Only, he had no idea how to broach the subject. How exactly did one ask their best friend what it meant that they liked boys and girls the same without said best friend thinking there was something wrong with them? Tony didn’t know, that was for sure. He tried to mention it casually, but nerves caught the words in his throat and he ended up making a sad squawking noise instead, which was remarkably undignified.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Rhodey spun in his chair to fully face Tony. They were in their shared dorm room, Tony sitting cross-legged on his bed while Rhodey did homework at his desk. “You’ve been acting weird for twenty minutes.”

“I have not!” protested Tony. “Maybe you’re the one acting weird, and you’re just saying this to throw me off your scent. I’m onto you, Sour Patch. Weirdo.”

“You’re stressing about something,” Rhodey made an unimpressed face. “You’re doing that nose wrinkle thing you do when you can’t figure something out, and you’ve opened your mouth like six times, so I know you want to tell me about it. Come on, defer to the knowledge of your elders here.”

“You’re two years older than me, shut up,” Tony grumbled, He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s dumb. You have to promise not to laugh at me, okay?”

Not that he thought Rhodey would. Tony had never really had a friend before, besides Jarvis, but even he could tell that Rhodey was a very, very good one. He always took Tony seriously, even though he was seventeen and scrawny and his voice still cracked when he got too excited, and he never treated him differently because of his last name. If there was anyone Tony could trust with this, it was Rhodey.

“I promise,” Rhodey said solemnly. “Cross my heart and hope to die, and all that. What’s the matter?”

Tony took a deep breath. “I think I might be gay?” he said, hating the hesitance and fear in his voice. “Because I think I like guys, right? But I also still like girls, and I’m confused, and I don’t understand what’s going on. Is this weird? It’s weird, right? Oh, I might be spiraling a little bit–”

“Breathe,” Rhodey’s hands were on his shoulders, grounding him. “You’re fine, breathe with me.”

“I’m good, I’m good,” Tony said, getting himself under control, but leaning into Rhodey’s touch for comfort. “Sorry about that. I just… you know.”

Rhodey nodded sagely. “I told you older was wiser,” he teased. Ignoring Tony’s indignant squawk, he continued. “It’s not like you have to be either gay or straight. You can like both, Tones. It’s called bisexuality, and it’s not weird.”

“It’s not?” Tony sounded fragile, even to his own ears. He knew Rhodey wouldn’t mess with him, not about something like this, but he couldn’t help the seeds of doubt taking root in his mind. 

“It’s not,” Rhodey confirmed seriously. “But you don’t have to label yourself now if you don’t want to. It’s okay to not know what you like yet. Hell, I don’t know what I am yet, and I bet half of our class doesn’t, either. It’s all good, Tones.”

Happiness bloomed in Tony’s chest, chasing away some of the anxiety. “You’re not upset?” he asked after a minute.

Rhodey shook his head so fast Tony thought it was going to come off. “Of course not,” he said vehemently. “You’re my best friend. Who you love doesn’t change that, you idiot. You’re stuck with me, remember?”

“What would I do without you?” Tony grinned, eyes a little wet. He darted in for a hug, wrapping his thin arms around Rhodey’s middle. Rhodey pulled him in tighter, nuzzling the top of his head.

“Luckily for you,” he said quietly, in a voice only for the two of them. “You’ll never have to find out.”

“Promise?” whispered Tony.

Tony felt more than saw Rhodey’s smile. “Promise.”

posted Sunday, June 21st with 159 notes
via: imposter-human
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